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		<title>Look Mom, I&#8217;m Tweeting!!!</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/04/24/look-mom-im-tweeting/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/04/24/look-mom-im-tweeting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:53:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Dear Mom,
I&#8217;m on Twitter!!! I know, you&#8217;re probably asking &#8220;what the heck is Twitter?&#8221; There&#8217;s a really good video on YouTube that will expain it better than I can.

So, as you can see it&#8217;s a type of micro-blogging, social networking, media 2.0, type of thingy. The definition is kinda in flux, but basically it&#8217;s anything [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Mom,</p>
<p>I&#8217;m on Twitter!!! I know, you&#8217;re probably asking &#8220;what the heck is Twitter?&#8221; There&#8217;s a really good video on <a href="http://www.youtube.com" target="_blank">YouTube </a>that will expain it better than I can.</p>
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<p>So, as you can see it&#8217;s a type of micro-blogging, social networking, media 2.0, type of thingy. The definition is kinda in flux, but basically it&#8217;s anything you want it to be.  And it works with your non-Blackberry, non-IPhone cell phone too.  If you can &#8220;text&#8221; on your mobile phone then you can Tweet. So it&#8217;s highly mobile and portable.</p>
<p>The founder of Twitter, <a href="http://twitter.com/ev">Evan Williams </a>started this thingy to answer the question: &#8220;Hey, what are you doing?&#8221; but it&#8217;s taken on a life of its own.  You can do so much with it:</p>
<ul>
<li>You can follow famous people on Twitter. No, not their PR people, but actually them.  Mom, you can follow Oprah, that&#8217;s OPRAH!!!  Also, you can follow Martha Stuart, Demi Moore, Ellen Degeneres, <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Soleil Moon Frye</span> Punky Brewster, and a whole bunch <a href="http://www.followfamous.com/" target="_blank">more</a>.</li>
<li>You can <a href="http://www.usetrackthis.com/" target="_blank">track packages </a>on Twitter so that you can stalk those packages that you send up here. It works with FedEx, UPS and the USPS.</li>
<li>You can also keep your <a href="http://www.google.com/calendar" target="_blank">Google Calendar</a> up to date too with <a href="http://twittercal.com/" target="_blank">Twittercal</a>. It&#8217;s a little complicated, but I can help you set it up.</li>
<li>You can also get notifications from your ToDo list from <a href="http://rememberthemilk.com/" target="_blank">RememberTheMilk.com</a>.</li>
<li>Know the location of people who are <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">using Twitter</span> Tweeting by using <a href="http://twittervision.com/" target="_blank">Twittervision</a>.</li>
<li>You can also read books.  Yep, read books! There&#8217;s a cool <a href="http://booktwo.org/swotter/" target="_blank">service </a>that will read a book to Twitter.</li>
<li>Also, you can also receive weather forecasts by either following a weather forecaster like Al Roker (@ARoker) or you can use <a href="http://twitter.com//forecast" target="_blank">Twitter Forecast</a>.</li>
<li>There are also a bunch of stuff you can do to <a href="http://www.chrisbrogan.com/50-ideas-on-using-twitter-for-business/" target="_blank">promote your business </a>or <a href="http://thetalentbuzz.com/2009/02/find-a-job-using-twitter-and-networking-twitter-job-search-strategies/" target="_blank">find a job </a>or <a href="http://www.problogger.net/archives/2008/03/25/how-i-use-twitter-to-promote-my-blog/" target="_blank">drive traffic to your Blog </a>or <a href="http://twitterblogger.co.uk/2009/04/15/how-to-do-anything-on-twitter-–-part-3/" target="_blank">whatever</a>.  The list just keeps growing and growing.</li>
</ul>
<p>I know it&#8217;s a lot to comprehend right now, but I just wanted to make you aware that I&#8217;m now on Twitter <img src='http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>p.s. if you&#8217;re looking for some help navigating all those abbreviations and acronyms, there is a comprehensive glossary of  Twitter acronym which can be found <a href="http://www.geocities.com/ben-fuzzybear/acronyms.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p>Love you,</p>
<p>(<a href="http://twitter.com/jmfailla" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/jmfailla</a>)</p>
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		<title>How not to raise responsible kids&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/01/27/how-not-to-raise-responsible-kids/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/01/27/how-not-to-raise-responsible-kids/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:11:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=215</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Barack Obama, with his swearing-in as 44th president of the United States, called on Americans to embrace &#8220;a new era of responsibility.&#8221;  I can&#8217;t help but question the world we are living in where such a &#8216;call to action&#8217; is necessary by our new president.  And after the most recent headlines of corporate scandalfests  such [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span id="inner">Barack Obama, with his swearing-in as 44th president of the United States, called on Americans to embrace &#8220;a new era of responsibility.&#8221;  I can&#8217;t help but question the world we are living in where such a &#8216;call to action&#8217; is necessary by our new president.  And after the most recent headlines of corporate scandalfests  such as Merrill Lynch&#8217;s John Thain&#8217;s $1.2 million dollar office rennovation or his seeking out a $10 million bonus or Lehman Brother&#8217;s Richard Fuld, Jr. blaming the short-sellers, the media, the government &#8211; everyone but himself, it is no wonder we need to be  reminded of what we should already know &#8211; we need get back to basics &#8211; and be responsible.</span></p>
<p>At what point, does the former Chairman of NASDAQ (thank you, Bernie Madoff) or perhaps a State Governor (thank you, Rod Blagojevich) not know (or care) that what he is doing or what he has done is wrong? At what point, do you own up to your wrongdoings and admit fault? At what point, do you stop listening to the little voices in your head  of the people that raised you to be responsible person?  </p>
<p><span>I just don&#8217;t get it. I don&#8217;t know where things went awry with these recent headliners.  I&#8217;m assuming that they are not ferriled orphans raised by the dogs, so they must have had someone raise them to the societal contributor that they have become.  Where did things go wrong</span></p>
<p><span>Well, in the true spirit of my rants, I&#8217;ve decided to give my own guidance of how not to raise responsible children.  If you&#8217;re interested in raising another <a href="http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Former_Satyam_CEO_Raju,_his_brother_and_CFO_arrested_and_detained_in_profit-fraud_scandal" target="_blank">Byrraju Ramalinga Raju</a>, read on.</span></p>
<hr /><span><strong>John&#8217;s List of How Not To Raise Responsible Kids:</strong></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">1. <strong>Don&#8217;t start them with tasks when they&#8217;re young.</strong> Even though young kids, as early as 2 years of age have a strong desire to help out, they should not. There is no need for you to challenge them. They&#8217;re just kids. You really don&#8217;t need or want the aggravation of screwing something up. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">2.<span> </span><strong> Use a reward system with your kids.</strong><span> You really don&#8217;t want your kids to develop an intrinsic sense of responsibility, do you? No need for them to develop a &#8220;big picture&#8221; value of the things that they do. It&#8217;s not the way the world works. They need to only know &#8220;what&#8217;s in it for them&#8221; and focus only on what they&#8217;re going to &#8220;get.&#8221;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">3.<span> </span><strong>Don&#8217;t use natural consequences when they make mistakes.</strong><span> </span>If they keep losing their baseball glove somewhere, buy them a new one &#8211; always. How else are they going to play without one? You should shelter them from any consequences of their actions. Only as a very last resort, have them ask to borrow one for the game from a friend. It&#8217;s imperative that you rescue them every time they screw up, So they&#8217;ll never learn responsibility.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">4.<span> </span><strong>Ignore them when they are responsible &#8211; it&#8217;s what everyone else expects of them.</strong><span> No need to </span>point out what you like about their behavior when they&#8217;re being responsible. This will make it less likely to happen again. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana; ">5.<span> </span><strong>Rarely talk about responsibility with your kids. </strong>Make responsibility something that is only discussed on rare occasions, and let them know it&#8217;s insignificance.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">6.<span> </span><strong>Do not model responsible behavior for your kids.</strong><span> TThe world will take care of them and make concessions for them. Modelling this type of behavior is</span> where they&#8217;ll learn it from. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">7.<span> </span><strong>Don&#8217;t give them an allowance until they&#8217;re either dating or driving (whichever comes first).</strong><span> When children are little, show them that you will take care of all of their </span>money decisions. No need for them to learn their lessons about money in a hurry &#8211; they have plenty of time to figure it out when they have no choice but to be responsible.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">8.<span> </span><strong>Have a strong, unfailing belief no one is more important than they are.</strong><span> </span>They&#8217;ll pick up on this belief and they&#8217;ll tend to rise to the level of expectation.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">9.<span> </span><strong>Train them to be irresponsible.</strong><span> </span>Use role play and talk to them about exactly what kind of behavior you expect from them. It&#8217;s hard for kids to be irresponsible at times when they don&#8217;t know what it looks like.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">10.<span> </span><strong>Do not take parenting advice from anyone else as no one should ever tell you how to parent. </strong>You will always know whether you&#8217;re being too controlling or too permissive as a parent. No need to talk to other parents, read books, or join parent support group.  It&#8217;s just a waste of time.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<hr /><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><em>Okay now, all cynicism aside</em>&#8230; As a parent, one of your goals is to raise a child who eventually finds their way to success in life. I&#8217;ve often said that we only have 18 years to get this right. Having worked with thousands of children over the 10+ years I was teaching, I can tell you that children who learn some sense of responsibility early in their childhood tend to be more self-sufficient, less codependent, and more likely to take responsibility for their own actions in adulthood. <em>Responsibility is a learned skill </em>and it is your role as a parent to ensure that you are providing your child with the tools to learn this very critical skill early in life.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">A child shoud be provided with the opportunity to start learning responsibility at a very young age. Parents need to learn to take advantage of the opportunities to teach responsibility as they occur. Children who are raised in a consequences free environment never have the opportunity to learn how to take responsibility for their actions. Parents who feel that they are creating a safe haven for their children by not allowing them to experience negative consequences for negative actions, are enablers. Irresponsible children raised in enabled households tend to approach all life situations with a sense of entitlement; a &#8220;the world owes me&#8221; kind of attitude. In adulthood, this attitude can lead to a real sense of discontent as other people in the child&#8217;s life do not provide that enabling role.</span></p>
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		<title>Are You a Leader or a Manager?</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/01/07/are-you-a-leader-or-a-manager/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2009/01/07/are-you-a-leader-or-a-manager/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:56:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=208</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is an old proverb that says: leadership is doing the right thing and management is doing things right. &#8220;The world is full of managers and desperately short of leaders.&#8221; (&#8220;Leading at the Edge of Chaos&#8221;, Emmett C. Murphy and Mark. A. Murphy). Believe it or not, there is a big difference between the two [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There is an old proverb that says: leadership is doing the right thing and management is doing things right. &#8220;The world is full of managers and desperately short of leaders.&#8221; (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Leading-Edge-Chaos-Critical-Elements/dp/0735203121" target="_blank">&#8220;Leading at the Edge of Chaos&#8221;</a>, Emmett C. Murphy and Mark. A. Murphy). Believe it or not, there is a big difference between the two &#8211; and yet you need both in today&#8217;s business environment. </p>
<p>In today&#8217;s world, the old ways of management a la <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Winslow_Taylor" target="_blank">Frederick Winslow Taylor</a>, no longer work and will never work again.  Things are different.  The world is much flatter than it was back in the turn of the 20th century: there are enormous globally competitive challenges that are unprecedented. Things are very interesting nowadays with a generation of &#8220;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Trophy-Kids-Grow-Millennial-Generation/dp/0470229543">Trophy Kids</a>&#8221; that are infiltrating the workforce who are a worldly, technologically savvy, confident and driven individuals. A large Baby Boomer workforce that will be <a href="http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/40670" target="_blank">exiting the labor market </a>within the next decade.  You cannot address stuff like this with more of the same management practices that have been in practice for decades.  Successful change in organizations nowadays needs leadership. </p>
<ul>
<li>Leaders seize opportunities; managers avert threats. </li>
<li>Leaders amplify strengths; managers reduce weaknesses. </li>
</ul>
<p>One of my favorite CEOs, Jack Welch had a goal for General Electric (GE) to become &#8220;the world&#8217;s most competitive enterprise.&#8221;  He knew that nothing short of a &#8220;revolution&#8221; would be needed to transform that dream into reality. </p>
<p>&#8220;The model of business in corporate America in 1980 had not changed in decades. Workers worked, managers managed, and everyone new their place. Forms and approvals and bureaucracy ruled the day.&#8221; Welch&#8217;s self-proclaimed revolution meant waging war on GE&#8217;s old ways of doing things and reinventing the company from top to bottom.</p>
<p align="justify"><span>Jack Welch is all about leadership, not management. </span><span>Actually, he wanted to discard the term &#8220;manager&#8221; altogether because it had come to mean someone who &#8220;controls rather than facilitates, complicates rather than simplifies, acts more like a governor than an accelerator.&#8221; Welch has given great of thought to how to manage employees effectively so that they are as productive as possible. And he has come to a seemingly paradoxical view. The less managing you do the better off your company. Manage less to manage more.</span></p>
<p align="justify"><span>Welch decided that GE&#8217;s leaders, who did too much controlling and monitoring, had to change their management styles. &#8220;Managers slow things down. Leaders spark the business to run smoothly, quickly. Managers talk to one another, write memos to one another. Leaders talk to their employees, talk <strong><em>with</em></strong> their employees, filling them with vision, getting them to perform at levels the employees themselves didn&#8217;t think possible. Then (and to Welch this is a critical ingredient) they simply get out of the way.&#8221; (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jack-Welch-G-E-Way-Management/dp/0070581045/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1231274930&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">Jack Welch and the GE Way,</a> Robert Slater). </span></p>
<p align="justify"><span>I&#8217;m going to expand a bit on Mr. Welch&#8217;s philosophy and say that not only do we need leaders, but we need inspirational leaders. People do what they have to do for a manager, but they will do their best for an inspirational leader. </span></p>
<p align="justify"><span>To inspire you must both create resonance and move people with a compelling vision. You need embody what you ask of others, and be able to articulate a shared vision in a way that inspires others to act. Inspirational leadership is the key to success in today&#8217;s world.</span></p>
<p align="justify"><span>Here are 10 characteristics of what I believe are needed in an Inspirational Leader:</span></p>
<ol>
<li>Provide an inspiring vision and strategic alignment with the goals of the organization.</li>
<li>Help people connect their personal goals to business goals.</li>
<li>Make relentless innovation your religion and evangelize it constantly.</li>
<li>Encourage entrepreneurial creativity and experimentation.</li>
<li>Involve everyone, empower and trust your employees.</li>
<li>Coach and train your people to greatness.</li>
<li>Build teams and promote teamwork diversity.</li>
<li>Motivate, inspire, and energize people. Recognize achievements too. </li>
<li>Encourage risk taking. </li>
<li>Make your business fun and demonstrate passion in it. </li>
</ol>
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		<title>The Dreaded Note From My Son&#8217;s Teacher&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/12/24/the-dreaded-note-from-my-sons-teacher/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/12/24/the-dreaded-note-from-my-sons-teacher/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:36:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=196</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay, the other day my wife and I received the dreaded note from my son&#8217;s teacher &#8211; he&#8217;s &#8220;acting up and not listening.&#8221;  I can&#8217;t speak for my wife, but my immediate reaction was first, one of defensiveness  &#8221;It&#8217;s got to be the teacher and the new school!&#8221;; then of dismay &#8211; &#8220;It&#8217;s all my [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-202" style="border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 1px; margin-bottom: 1px;" title="wheat_ridge_art_child_doing_homework" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/wheat_ridge_art_child_doing_homework.jpg" alt="wheat_ridge_art_child_doing_homework" width="270" height="270" />Okay, the other day my wife and I received the dreaded note from my son&#8217;s teacher &#8211; he&#8217;s &#8220;acting up and not listening.&#8221;  I can&#8217;t speak for my wife, but my immediate reaction was first, one of defensiveness  &#8221;It&#8217;s got to be the teacher and the new school!&#8221;; then of dismay &#8211; &#8220;It&#8217;s all my fault!&#8221;  &#8221;How did we mess up?&#8221;   Then I went into my &#8220;crisis mode&#8221; and tried as best as I could to rationalize and analyze the situation: &#8220;Okay, I&#8217;ll speak with the teacher tomorrow and work with her towards a solution.&#8221; &#8220;We&#8217;ll figure this out!&#8221;</p>
<p>Now under full disclosure, I need to reveal that before my affinity for business and technology, I was a school teacher for 10+ years. And I vividly remember having many difficult conversations with parents who went through the gamut of the same emotions I am now feeling.</p>
<p>I believe that all parents want what is best for their child. They want their children to do well and to be successful at whatever they&#8217;re doing <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">(as if their own ego depends on it.)</span> Now, no parent wants to hear from their child&#8217;s teacher that they are having problems in school. If you get that news, how you react and handle the problem can make a BIG different in its outcome.</p>
<p>I thought that I would share with you some of my thoughts about  making the most out of a parent/teacher conversation (conference) about your child. I can frequently remember many times parents having that &#8220;deer in the headlights&#8221; look when they discovered that their child wasn&#8217;t performing up to par.  If most of them were better prepared and had a better pulse on their child, outcomes would have been much different and it would have enabled their child to be much more successful, much sooner.</p>
<p>A meeting or phone conversation with your child&#8217;s teacher is one that you should take full advantage of. It is one of the few opportunities that you will gain the perspective of a trained professional who spends an enormous amount of time with your child. Your child&#8217;s teacher has the opportunity to see your child interacting with other children, and is a more objective evaluator of your child than you as a parent might be.</p>
<p>Oftentimes, parents expect to meet with teachers and only look at test scores or the problems at-hand.  In business, we call this &#8220;the lowest hanging fruit.&#8221; That is the easiest and most accessible of all issues. It is important, as a parent, to look at the bigger picture.  What are usually issues with behavior, test scores, and social mannerisms <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">(or lack therof)</span>, all have underlying motivators.  For example, in my son&#8217;s case, his lack of attention (attending?) and disregard for rules and authority was a direct result of his needs not being met.  My son&#8217;s pattern of behavior is directly related to him being hungry and not being able to articulate his discomfort through traditional ways. (He&#8217;s 4-1/2 years old).  And therefore, he would &#8220;communicate&#8221; his discomfort through attention seeking behaviors.</p>
<p>Also, teachers are usually just as interested in your input as you are in theirs.  Keep in mind that there are many things that you child&#8217;s teacher does not know about him.  It is important that teachers become aware of changes that are occurring in their personal or family life, and how he behaves at home in comparison to how he acts in school.  Their emotional well-being is the primary motivator in their academic success.</p>
<p><strong>Before meeting with the teacher:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Start preparing early &#8211; don&#8217;t wait until the last minute to get organized. Create a little folder at the beginning of the school year in which you should keep test scores, big homework assignments, and your various notes (all the things that your child has told you or any other topices you want to address).</li>
<li>Talk to your child. Do you know what&#8217;s happening in your child&#8217;s world when they&#8217;re not with you? Do you know what&#8217;s going on during lunchtime, recess (playtime), or when he goes to &#8220;specials&#8221; (gym, music, art, etc.)?  You need to find out the good, the bad, and the ugly about your child.  And when you do, probe a bit. Don&#8217;t just rely on their &#8220;objectivity&#8221;. As I&#8217;ve often coached many managers in my business career &#8211; do not take things on face value &#8211; probe &#8211; and peel away the layers to the proverbial onion. You need to find out if your child is percieving everything accurately or if she&#8217;s misunderstanding a situation.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>During the conference:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Be on time!  We&#8217;re all busy in life and usually have more things to do than we can handle.  That includes the teacher.  If she&#8217;s allotted 15 minutes for a conversation with you and you&#8217;re late, you will most likely not be able to make up that time.</li>
<li>Enter the converstation with the right attitude. The goal of both the teacher and the parent should be the success of the student, but sometimes parens have a hard time discussing tough issues. Rather than put the teacher on the defensive, arrive with a compliment to start the conversation off on the right foot. (i.e. &#8220;My son is really enjoying the unit you&#8217;re doint with him on the Seasons.&#8221;) then address any concerns in a respectful manner.</li>
<li>Find out the communication protocol. Don&#8217;t let this be the only time you talk to your child&#8217;s teacher. Ask how she likes to communicate, whether it&#8217;s by email, notes passed through a folder, or a phone call. Reinforce that you are there if she wants to talk to you. Let the teacher know you want to be that kind of partner.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>After the conference:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Follow up. If the teacher brings something to your attention that needs to be addressed with your child, take steps to put the plan in motion, whether it&#8217;s helping with organizational skills, getting extra help, or addressing a social issue.</li>
<li>Update your child. Start with the positive things his teacher had to say, then fill her in on any concerns you and the teacher discussed. Explain how you can all work together to ensure your child is a success in his academic career&#8230;</li>
</ul>
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		<title>Fear &amp; Hope Will Shape My Son&#8217;s Future&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/12/03/fear-hope-will-shape-my-sons-future/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/12/03/fear-hope-will-shape-my-sons-future/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:18:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=188</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Let&#8217;s face it, no matter what you think you can DO for you child or GIVE to your child, when it comes down to the things that matter, the best thing you can do for them is to be passionate about what you do and to be at peace and happy with yourself.  I know [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Let&#8217;s face it, no matter what you think you can DO for you child or GIVE to your child, when it comes down to the things that matter, the best thing you can do for them is to be passionate about what you do and to be at peace and happy with yourself.  I know what you&#8217;re thinking: &#8220;I need to be worried about his future! I need to worry if I&#8217;m going to have a roof over my head at the same time, next year! Who can think about happiness and peace when we&#8217;re experience such an economic collapse?!?!&#8221;</p>
<p>It&#8217;s very easy for us to be on edge at this time of year. I&#8217;ve seen many parents quickly snap at their children over the littlest things &#8212; I know as I&#8217;ve been guilty myself. We hurry our children along impatiently from here to there.  In this state, we often overlook the wonder and beauty of our children. For parents who are at peace with themselves and find happiness within, they take the time to listen &#8211; truly listen! &#8211; to their kids, to understand what is important to them, and dare I say &#8211; even LEARN from them.</p>
<p>Whenever anyone confides in me that they are worried about what&#8217;s happening in the world I often share the advice that was once told to me: &#8220;You should not be worried about the things out of your control. You are only along for the ride. Focus your attention on worrying about the things that ARE in YOUR control.&#8221;</p>
<p>Being happy and at peace with yourself in such times like this might feel like a bit of a paradox, but it&#8217;s also in YOUR control. To help prove my point a bit, I&#8217;m going to turn to a poem that I use from time to time in one of the management courses that I teach. It&#8217;s a poem that compares being taken for granted versus giving praise.  If you are worried about the economy, our new presidential administration, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the mortgage payments or whatever, take some time out and think how it&#8217;s affecting your behavior and your relationship with the people around you &#8212; especially your children.</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Which House Do You Live In?</strong></p>
<p>&#8220;I got two A&#8217;s,&#8221; the small boy cried.<br />
His voice was filled with glee.<br />
His father very bluntly asked,<br />
&#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you get three?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mom, I&#8217;ve got the dishes done!&#8221;<br />
The girl called from the door.<br />
Her mother very calmly said,<br />
&#8220;And did you sweep the floor?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve mowed the grass,&#8221; the tall boy said,<br />
&#8220;And put the mower away!&#8221;<br />
His father asked him, with a shrug,<br />
&#8220;Did you clean off the clay?&#8221;</p>
<p>The children in the house next door<br />
Seem happy and content.<br />
The same things happened over there,<br />
But this is how it went:</p>
<p>&#8220;I got two A&#8217;s,&#8221; the small boy cried,<br />
His voice was filled with glee.<br />
His father proudly said, &#8220;That&#8217;s great!<br />
I&#8217;m glad you live with me!&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mom, I&#8217;ve got the dishes done!&#8221;<br />
The girl called from the door.<br />
Her mother smiled and softly said,<br />
&#8220;Each day I love you more.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve mowed the grass,&#8221; the tall boy said,<br />
&#8220;And put the mower away!&#8221;<br />
His father answered with much joy,<br />
&#8220;You&#8217;ve made my happy day!&#8221;</p>
<p>[Author: Unknown]</p></blockquote>
<p>Given the stresses of the holiday season which is now upon us, and the news that is filled with depressing reports of bankruptcies, layoffs, terrorism, and threats, now is the time to subscribe to a peaceful and passionate paradox in the world around you.  By doing so, you will teach your children that their happiness is not controlled by what&#8217;s going on in the world, it&#8217;s controlled by you &#8211; by them. Peace and happiness come from what&#8217;s inside you &#8211; it&#8217;s your choice it&#8217;s in your control.  Give them a lifelong gift &#8211; to be empowered to face whatever future they encounter happily and with peace.  What could be a better gift?</p>
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		<title>I&#8217;m resigning from adulthood!</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/11/28/im-resigning-from-adulthood/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/11/28/im-resigning-from-adulthood/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Nov 2008 15:28:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=179</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I woke up this morning and put the television on in our living room.  The channel was set to the morning news. My son came in the living room sat down on the floor and was happily playing with his new toy car set. As the news was talking about the economic downturn, the terrorist [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em><a href="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/children-playing.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-183" style="margin: 1px;" title="children-playing" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/children-playing-300x239.jpg" alt="" width="173" height="138" /></a>I woke up this morning and put the television on in our living room.  The channel was set to the morning news. My son came in the living room sat down on the floor and was happily playing with his new toy car set. As the news was talking about the economic downturn, the terrorist invasion of Mumbai, India, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, a lame-duck president and grim outlook of this year&#8217;s holiday season, I couldn&#8217;t help notice the pure counterpoint between my son&#8217;s enjoyment of his toys against the backdrop of televised doom and gloom. Life was so simple as a child.  I miss it fondly. So, in my usual style, I thought it would be interesting to blog the fact that I would love to resign as an adult.</em></p>
<p>I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.</p>
<ul>
<li>I want to go to McDonald&#8217;s and think that it&#8217;s a four star restaurant.</li>
<li>I want to skip rocks across a lake and count the skips.</li>
<li>I want to think that M&amp;Ms are better than money because you can eat them.</li>
<li>I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer&#8217;s day.</li>
<li>I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew was colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes; but that didn&#8217;t bother you, because you didn&#8217;t know what you didn&#8217;t know and you didn&#8217;t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.</li>
<li>I want to think the world is fair and that everyone is honest and good.</li>
<li>I want to believe that anything is possible.</li>
<li>I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.</li>
<li>I want to live simple again. I don&#8217;t want my day to consist of meetings, computer problems, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, gossip, my health, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.</li>
<li>I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, togetherness, and play.</li>
</ul>
<div>So here&#8217;s my debit card, my car-keys, my credit cards, my 401K statement, and my pension. I am officially resigning from adulthood. </div>
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		<title>I am thankful&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/11/24/i-am-thankful/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/11/24/i-am-thankful/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:07:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friendships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=167</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

For the taxes I pay, because that means that I&#8217;m employed.
For the mess to clean after a dinner party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends and family.
For the clothes that fit a little too snug on me these days, because it means I have more than enough to eat.
For my shadow [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><a href="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/bethankfulcarvedpumpkinwhite1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-174 alignleft" style="margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;" title="bethankfulcarvedpumpkinwhite1" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/bethankfulcarvedpumpkinwhite1.jpg" alt="" width="168" height="126" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li>For the taxes I pay, because that means that I&#8217;m employed.</li>
<li>For the mess to clean after a dinner party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends and family.</li>
<li>For the clothes that fit a little too snug on me these days, because it means I have more than enough to eat.</li>
<li>For my shadow that follows me when I walk down the street, because it means that I am out in the sunshine.</li>
<li>For the bathroom that needs cleaning, the dishes that are in the sink, the carpeting that needs vacuuming, because it means that I have a home.</li>
<li>For all the complaining the pundits say about my government, because that means that we have freedom of speech.</li>
<li>For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation I can afford to use.</li>
<li>For my heating bill, because it means that I am warm.</li>
<li>For the parishioners in my church that sing off key, because it means that I can hear.</li>
<li>For the pile of laundry in my bedroom that needs to be cleaned and the shirts and pants that I need to iron, because it means I have clothes to wear.</li>
<li>For the aggravation and grief my mom gives me, because it means that she is alive and can still give it to me. </li>
<li>For the exhaustion I feel after running after my 4 year old, because it means that he is healthy, active and mine.</li>
<li>For the arguments, disagreements, fights and other emotional times with my wife, because it means she is physically, emotionally and mentally fit to be in a loving relationship with me.</li>
<li>For the weariness and stress I feel at the end of a long day, because it means I&#8217;m capable of working hard.</li>
<li>For the alarm clock that goes off early in the morning, because it means that I am alive.</li>
</ul>
<div>Being thankful or <em>feeling </em>thankful for your true blessings means that things resonate with what&#8217;s important in your life &#8211; things that touch your core.  We know the kind of things we are supposed to be thankful for at the Thanksgiving table, but being thankful and <em>feeling </em>thankful are two completely things.</div>
<div>Feeling thankful is something that we should all do from time to time.  Of course, those of us with good manners say &#8220;thank you&#8221; on a regular basis to people who do something or give us something. But how many of us truly search deep within to feel thankful.  </div>
<div>I created the list above to reflect on my feelings about my thankfulness. What are you truly thankful for?  I think taking a moment and reflecting is something we can all use nowadays.</div>
<div>To all of you and your families, I wish you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.  Truly!!!</div>
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		<title>Is There A Good Resume In The House???</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/16/is-there-a-good-resume-in-the-house-part-1-of-2/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/16/is-there-a-good-resume-in-the-house-part-1-of-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:59:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=145</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Recently, I&#8217;ve had several of my acquaintances, family members and friends ask me to review their resumes. What is especially frustrating for me reviewing resumes of people that I know is that I know them.  I know what they&#8217;re capable of. I know what their experience is like.  I know that they are so much [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-158" style="margin-top: 2px; margin-bottom: 2px; border: 2px solid black;" title="45364393_dc90b268cc" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/45364393_dc90b268cc-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p>Recently, I&#8217;ve had several of my acquaintances, family members and friends ask me to review their resumes. What is especially frustrating for me reviewing resumes of people that I know is that I know them.  I know what they&#8217;re capable of. I know what their experience is like.  I know that they are so much better than their resumes are reflecting them.  At work I&#8217;ve been deluged by an epidemic of poorly written resumes.  And I&#8217;m sure that the many people I&#8217;m filtering out of my interview process are more talented, more experienced, and might be even perfect for the job, but the hiring process dictates that I rely on their resume first to tell me who I should interview.  Otherwise, I would be interviewing hundreds of people every week.  And if they&#8217;re not going to take the time to properly represent themselves to me, I&#8217;m not going to take the time out to interview them&#8230; Enough said!</p>
<p>Resumes tell an employer a great deal about you. Where you have been, where you are now, and where you are headed. This story needs to be told concisely and quickly.  One of my favorite managers of all time use to say to me: &#8220;Tell me the TIME; don&#8217;t build me a WATCH!&#8221; You have 30 seconds to convince the employer that your resume deserves some consideration. It needs to shout, &#8220;I am the one you want on your team!&#8221; </p>
<p>It&#8217;s sole intent is to get the hiring manager or the recruiter calling you up for more information about you. From there you should get an in-person interview &#8211; hopefully if you didn&#8217;t screw up the phone call&#8230;</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: none;">Length</span>:</h3>
<p>Unless you&#8217;re Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Lee Iococca, or Jack Welch, you&#8217;re resume should be no longer than one page in length.  - You heard me right! One page &#8211; not one page and half. One page.  The second page, statistically speaking, almost never gets the same attention of the first page.  Well if you&#8217;re a CEO of a Fortune 500 company and you&#8217;ve been COO, VP of Sales and Marketing, than there&#8217;s probably an exception for you to have more than one page.  But for the 99% of us who do not have such a track record, ONE PAGE&#8230;</p>
<p>And no Tom, you don&#8217;t need a lot of white space- this is not artwork &#8211; it&#8217;s your resume.  Giving your resume white space is not going to magically get your resume to jump out at people.  Recruiters and hiring managers don&#8217;t really care about white space &#8212; they want to see the content.   Use a 10 point type and your margins can be .5&#8243; left and right and .75&#8243; on the top and bottom. </p>
<p>The second page is relegated to the stuff in career that&#8217;s way back and most likely not too relevant to the job you&#8217;re applying for anyway. </p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: normal;">C</span>olor:</h3>
<p>Not purple, not light blue, not eggshell white, not fuchsia, just WHITE.  And no need to get cute with it.  I recently received a resume with the candidate&#8217;s portrait lightly watermarked behind his text.  I&#8217;ve keep it on my bulletin board, not because I would ever call him for an interview, but it makes a GREAT conversation piece to my colleagues who come into my office and chuckle at it.  Don&#8217;t confuse marketing yourself with being ineffective.  Remember the point of a resume is to get the job.  In order to get the job, you need to do two things: relay the jobs you&#8217;ve had and also let the recruiter/hiring manager how well you&#8217;ve done them.  Marketing all of this information on a colorful piece of paper or as a book cover for the book you&#8217;ve authored (don&#8217;t ask!) is meaningless.</p>
<h3>Header:</h3>
<p>Name, address, email address, and your phone number.  If you want to put your home and your cell that&#8217;s fine.  And about that email address&#8230; spend <a href="http://www.godaddy.com" target="_blank">$10 a year</a> and get a grown-up domain name or go get a GMail account &#8211; it&#8217;s free and something simple to setup.  Not something with an AOL domain either &#8211; this isn&#8217;t 1993 &#8211; Tom!!!  I can&#8217;t tell you how many times I&#8217;ve had to reply to &#8220;QTPie64@aol.com&#8221; or &#8220;EverQuest4Ever@optonline.com.&#8221; It&#8217;s blatantly ridiculous how the line of people&#8217;s professional lives and their goofy personal lives are blurred. Aargh! </p>
<h3>Order: </h3>
<p>After the Header, the rest of the resume should be jobs in reverse chronological order. Education all the way down at the bottom of the page.  Your education is important, but your job history is more important to me. Each job should have three parts to it:</p>
<ol>
<li>Dates of the job first.  And YES please put the month.  When I&#8217;m looking at a person&#8217;s job history and it excludes months, I&#8217;m going to assume that they are hiding a considerable gap (more than 3 months) in their history. After the date a colon, your job title and if it&#8217;s a generic title like Marketing Manager, please put &#8216;of what?&#8217; next to it: Marketing Manager of US Territories. </li>
<li>Your job responsibilities and tasks in paragraph form.</li>
<li>Your accomplishments in bullet format one after another.</li>
</ol>
<div>To be continued&#8230;</div>
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		<title>Ten Things I&#8217;ve Learned From My Son</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/12/ten-things-ive-learned-from-my-son/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/12/ten-things-ive-learned-from-my-son/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:26:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=125</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

To look for opportunities to express yourself everywhere. My son views the entire world and every new person, new object, or new event as opportunities to express himself.
To have structure in one&#8217;s life is to be calm, connected and productive. Leave it to a 4 year old to teach me this.  Having a routine is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/img_0052r.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-132" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="img_0052r" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/img_0052r-249x300.jpg" alt="" width="249" height="300" /></a></p>
<ol>
<li>To look for opportunities to express yourself everywhere. My son views the entire world and every new person, new object, or new event as opportunities to express himself.</li>
<li>To have structure in one&#8217;s life is to be calm, connected and productive. Leave it to a 4 year old to teach me this.  Having a routine is good and centering.  Variety is the spice of life, but your routine is the root to all your sanity.</li>
<li>Life is funny. Anything and everything is funny to my son. Who just loves life to its fullest. The simplest things can make him giggle with glee. My son&#8217;s laughter is a wonderful sound.</li>
<li>How to love unconditionally. There is no feeling on earth like becoming a parent. Until you&#8217;ve tried it, you&#8217;ll never know. Loving your child more than life itself just happens and it&#8217;s breathtaking.</li>
<li>Water is magical. From the time he was born and taking his first baths, water calmed him right down. My wife and I think sometimes that he&#8217;s part fish.</li>
<li>Learning to slow down.  I&#8217;m sure it happens with most parents. You&#8217;re in a hurry to get out the door, or your trying to get your shopping done quickly, and inevitably he&#8217;s on a different timetable taking in all the world has to offer. Lately, rather than trying to rush him, I often enjoy his pace and enjoy him.</li>
<li>Communication doesn&#8217;t need to involve words. Body language, tone and pitch of voice and patterns of movement can speak volumes.</li>
<li>It&#8217;s okay to stay up late once in a while, especially if your cuddling up with someone you love and reading a good book.</li>
<li>If you really like something, doing it over and over again will not make you bored. You can listen to Dan Zane&#8217;s &#8220;Catch The Train&#8221; a hundred times, know all the words in all of the songs and still enjoy it as if you were listening to it for the first time.</li>
<li>Just when you believe there are no ways you could possibly love your child more, you find the new wellspring of love for them and they complete you.</li>
</ol>
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		<title>Doing the Right Thing&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/08/doing-the-right-thing/</link>
		<comments>http://johnsboxofsoap.com/2008/09/08/doing-the-right-thing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:11:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://johnsboxofsoap.com/?p=113</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
As John McCain and Barach Obama seek the presidency, the word &#8220;inexperienced&#8221; has been recently thrown around by the  unjournalistic and stupidly biased media when describing these candidates or their running mates. Between Obama and Palin&#8217;s resumes, nothing in their backgrounds show that they would be prepared to stand up to the likes of Ahmadinejad, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/gop_elephant_democrat_donkey1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-118" title="gop_elephant_democrat_donkey1" src="http://johnsboxofsoap.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/gop_elephant_democrat_donkey1-300x157.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="157" /></a></p>
<p>As John McCain and Barach Obama seek the presidency, the word &#8220;inexperienced&#8221; has been recently thrown around by the  <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">unjournalistic</span> <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">and</span> <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">stupidly</span> <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">biased</span> media when describing these candidates or their running mates. Between Obama and Palin&#8217;s resumes, nothing in their backgrounds show that they would be prepared to stand up to the likes of Ahmadinejad, Chavez or Putin, whether they can run two wars, or understand the Great Power&#8217;s conduct of foreign policy. But is experience really necessary?</p>
<p>In my opinion, the playing field (with regards to experience) in this race is fairly level, and as a result is a very exciting time for anyone following the election.</p>
<p>When I train young managers in the candidate interviewing process, I spend a good deal of time working with them on probing their interviewees in previous experience as one of the best indicators for future behavior.  However, I also tell them a little story about Ben Sliney and his memorable first day of work.</p>
<p>Ben Sliney, started his first day at his job like anyone else &#8211; a little nervous, a little excited and a little cocky that he could handle almost anything put in front of him.  Little did he know that his first day of work would be the true story of the four most critical hours in aviation history.</p>
<p>A boisterous, loud and forceful ex-lawyer, Sliney was returning to his earlier roots (back in 1964) in Air Traffic Control was starting his job as an Operations Manager for the Herndon, VA Federal Aviation Administrator command center. This New York Lawyer was part of a hiring trend on behalf of the FAA, to correct some of the public criticism at that time of record flight delays.</p>
<p>He was hired because of his new fresh outlook in the Administration and not necessarily because of his experience.  He was hired because he was a problem solver and had evidence of good judgment. He was hired for who he is and how he thinks.</p>
<p><em>AND he was also hired to start his first day of work on September 11, 2001.</em></p>
<p>Just hours after starting, Sliney in a historically unprecedented move, on the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, ordered the airspace over the United States of America &#8211; CLEARED.  To land every plane, about 4,200 aircraft, in the air over America at that time, effectively shutting down US airspace.  Never before has such an order ever been carried out.  Never before has it ever been discussed in a Air Traffic Control or pilot training program. Never before has anyone ever experienced such an important decisive action in the likes of the chaos of that morning.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s interesting to note here is that while he made the decision on his own initiative, he did not do it in a vacuum.  He had the benefit of the advice of a highly experienced staff of air traffic controllers and traffic managers.  He did it by following his gut and following his experience of listening to the experience of others.</p>
<p>How could anyone train for this?  The events that unfolded that unforgetable day, re-wrote history. The 9-11 Commission stated that it was a sound and decisive decision to land all aircraft.  Certainly this hindsight is 20/20, but suppose it was someone else in that position with perhaps more experience.  Maybe in crisis management?  Would she have followed her gut or some previous protocol from her vast experience? Would he have had the wherewithall to pool together the combined experiential energy in the room for the best advice? Would this more experienced person have been that lucky?</p>
<p>Who&#8217;s to say? I believe, from my traditional managerial background, that experience is a good indicator for future performance, however, suppose you are involved in writing a new history.  Now put this new history on a global stage and you&#8217;re just one of the many players in it.  Do you really want someone with experience, or do you want someone who can pool together his or her world-class resources and make a sound decision?  &#8212; That is the real question here.</p>
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