Deck the halls with boughs of non-endangered plant species
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be self-actualizing,
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our alternate-lifestyle apparel
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Toll the ancient non-sectarian-winter-solstice-equal opportunity holiday carol
Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing log of non-sectarian-winter-solstice-holiday-non-endangered wood before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Play the harp without unnecessary brutality and join the new paradigm chorus
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Sing we emotionally stable in a collective group effort,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless of the weather patterns despite the effects of El Niño,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Fast away the mature year passes
Fa la la la la la la la la

Hail the new year without any implicit ageism, ye persons
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Dance in a non-hierarchical manner in merry esoteric measure,
Fa la la la la la la la la

While I tell of non-materialistic, non-sectarian-winter-solstice-holiday treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la

“Every company in America should be on their knees thanking Jesus for being born,” news big mouth and everyone’s favorite idiot commentator, Bill O’Reilly, said on a Fox News program. “Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable. That’s more than enough reason for business to be screaming Merry Christmas.”

I can’t believe that I would actually agree with this guy, but he’s right. After Wal-Mart took a sharp decline in “holiday” sales in 2005, they kicked Christmas into high gear for this 2006 & 2007 seasons.

What is it about the word “Christmas” that is so offensive to some people? And why do the slightest displays of public spirituality work some do-do-heads people up in such a tizzy? I find myself asking that question a lot, but I think I already know the answer. We’ve lost our sense of belonging to an organized religion. That’s fine, people have a right not to like or accept whomever, but it would be nice if the anti-faith brigade would just stop pretending like they are the models of tolerance, acceptance, open-mindedness, and diversity while doing everything they can to marginalize Christian expression.

Today we’re not arguing over burning heretics at the stake, nowadays it’s whether or not we should be able to say “Merry Christmas” at work or put up a nativity scene on public property. I have a friend that works at the Paramus (NJ) mall. It’s a clothing store that sells products targeted towards teens and young adults. She was reprimanded recently because she made the very inappropriate mistake of asking a customer if he was “Christmas shopping.” It’s not Christmas shopping she was told by her superior, it’s “Holiday shopping” and she was not to repeat the other awful phrase ever again. Not only that, but she was told that as Christmas does approach, she will only be allowed to use the phrase “Happy Holidays.”

Give me a break – how stupid!!!!!

This crazed politically correctness is not limited to this clothing store, of course. It can be found in grade schools, universities, government buildings and corporations all over the country. The majority of individuals pushing for the de-spiritualizing of Christmas and politically correct speech codes are doing so because they want to show how “tolerant,” “open-minded” and “diverse” they are. The only problem is that tolerance, open-mindedness, and diversity are rarely ever demonstrated to theologically conservative Christians or anyone else who doesn’t believe in a radical [insert political position here] agenda.

It also is appropriate to consider those whom the politically correct elite are kowtowing to. Let me just be very blunt, if it offends you that bad to hear someone say “Merry Christmas,” if you internally get that worked up over seeing a nativity scene, and if you are a smarmy elementary school administrator that prohibits one of your teachers from teaching 5th graders about the Declaration of Independence because it mentions God (as was made public last a few months ago), then it is you and not everybody else who has a problem. You’re the one who needs to have your attitude and values checked, not those nasty and backwards Christmas well-wishers.

Okay, none of these extremes should take place, but the political correctness controversies during the Christmas season are getting ridiculous. Saying Merry Christmas is not offensive. People should be free to choose which season’s greeting they’d like to say to others, may that be Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Seasons Greetings, Happy Kwanza or even Happy Festivus.

Don’t embrace a politically correct, generic holiday to satisfy the whiners around you, embrace Christmas or your own special holiday! And to the whiners: be tolerant. The right to religion and free speech is a luxury we are all allowed to enjoy.