For those who know me, I am the very proud father of a 4 year old boy.  Currently, my wife Deb and I are working very hard in raising him with what we consider to be good manners.  [Warning --ranting will ensue!] It’s just one of my pet peeves, but I cannot get over how many people that I encounter on regular basis that don’t possess good manners.  Holding a door open for the person behind you; looking at a cashier and saying “Good Morning” or “Hi there!”; “Have a nice day”; “Have a good weekend”; “Please”; “Thank you”; “No, thank you”; etc. All gone!

The other day I was at the local fast-food restaurant waiting on line and this British mum and her young child was in front of me. I was totally impressed with the politeness of this woman and her child.  Let me give you a line reading of what went on:

Cashier: Good morning! What would you like today?

Mum: Could I get one egg on a roll with cheese, please?

Cashier: Sure, would you like some coffee with that?

Mum: Yes, please.

Cashier: Would you like anything else?

[Mum looks at her 5 year old and asks her to speak up.]

Child: Can I have a bagel with some jelly, please?

Cashier: Will that be all?

Mum and child: [Almost in unison] Yes, please.

Cashier: That will be $7.56, please.

[Mum counting exact change and handing it to the cashier.]

Cashier: Thanks.

Mum: Thanks, ever so.

Child: Thank you.

Now, let me replay the same scene with a typical mom and child from America (more specifically, New York). 

Cashier: Good morning! What would you like today?

Mom: Yeah. An egg sandwich with cheese.

Cashier: Sure, would you like some coffee with that?

Mom: Yup.

Cashier: Would you like anything else?

Mom [To child]: What do you want?

Child: I want a bagel! With jelly!

Cashier: Anything else with that?

Mom [answering for herself and her child]: Nope

Cashier: That will be $7.56, please.

[Mom hands money with exact change to the cashier.]

Cashier: Thanks.

[Mom nods and walks away]

Have we all gotten too busy in our lives that we cannot afford to be polite and civilized with each other? Are the words, “Please” and “Thank you” dead in our language? The long established common courtesy duo are fading more and more.  Are they going into retirement, never to show their faces ever again?

I recently worked on training 25 customer service reps to be more effective in their roles as representatives of their company. In doing so, I discovered that 75% rarely ever used “please” and “thank you” in their dialogue with their customers. They honestly did not realize it was missing in their language.   These were not children, like my 4 year old son. They were young men and women who were unaware of the concepts of courtesy and respect. They are not alone. This has become a disease which is rapidly spreading. Although it might be prevalent in younger people, it is widespread across many generations.

This morning I tried an experiment. I held a door to a busy store that I was entering and five people walked in as I waited. One person said “thank you” and one smiled politely. The remainder just barged in, oblivious to both me, my courtesy and the world around them.

What the heck is going on? What has happened? This certainly is not an isolated incident. This is occurring on a daily basis and becoming more and more frequent. At what point, in which generation did we decide life would be better if we took simple acts of respect and courtesy out of the equation?

Please tell me how wrong I am.  Is it just that I’m attracting rude behavior?  Tell me about your rude or very polite observations.  I would love to read about them…