I’ve always said that if I knew at 22 what I now know at 42, how my life would be so different. I’m going through some major life changes recently, and I can’t help but notice how differently I’m realizing my experiences this time around. So I thought that I would post some of my thoughts to some of the things that I have learned over the past 20 years reflect on how I’m much more ready to accept these things as I begin to enter my middle life.

John’s 10 Wisdom Points

1. Negativity breeds, well negativity. It is very difficult to get a clear view of circumstances when your vision is clouded by bad things and negative thoughts. There are many people in my life right now that will always view the proverbial glass half empty with the excuse argument that they’re trying to be “realistic.” In order to get positivity in your life you need to be opened to it and accept it. How many people do you know that will receive something positive to only look at its negative qualities?
2. Work to live, don’t live to work. I know that this is more of a Generation X thing than my only personal wisdom, but it’s something I subscribe to. Most Baby-Boomers and pre-World (War II) Generationals would most likely disagree with me, but long are days gone by where workers stay employed for their companies for 30 years. That type of mutual loyalty you just don’t hear about anymore. Follow your passion (even if it changes every 5 years) and money will follow.
3. Enjoy yourself. What’s the sense of working very hard to follow your dreams if you don’t reward or treat yourself once in a while. Have a big slice of cake once in a while. (Apologies to my cardiologist).
4. Don’t stop developing your talents and seeking new ones along the way. Contrary to the old saying: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I believe that your learning in life truly begins when you finish your formal education after college or grad school. Formal education never teaches you how to discover yourself and it most certainly doesn’t address you how you learn. If you want to learn how to play the piano, golf, drawing, dance, etc. and have a desire to do so, then take lessons and truly become how you learn. Are you a visual learner? An auditory learner? A kinesthetic learner? If you’re interested in knowing more, I highly recommend ‘learning’ about Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences or Thomas Armstrong’s 7 Kinds of Smarts.
5. You and only you must be the creator and/or seeker of opportunities. It is a rare that an opportunity finds you. How many people do you know who think that they ‘deserve to get something’ instead of working to get ‘it’ themselves? Take the initiative!
6. Where you are in life does not determine where you can go. But your destiny is your responsibility and no one else’s. You create your own limitations and horizons.
7. The key to more knowledge is directly proportionate to one’s openness. Give everything a chance and be willing to accept criticism -all the time!
8. Failure is awesome – embrace it! THE most important step to one’s success is his failure along the way. Everyone learns by their failures and if you have guts to risk failure, you’ll have the guts to succeed. I don’t know why some of my previous employers rarely acknowledged their failures and promoted learning from them.
9. You can’t do this alone: you need others. This is one I really wished I had taken to heart in the past. I’ve burned some bridges and as a result, it has taken me longer in life to be successful.
10. Count your blessings and be thankful. There are times when things are really bad. You might have financial issues, problems with your children, fights with your parents, a falling out with your boss or your spouse, or whatever. But never forget that there is always someone who has it worse than you.

What words of wisdom do you have to offer? Is there something that I’ve missed? I would really like to hear from you.