Do you remember that ugly tirade voice mail message that Alec Baldwin left for his 11 year old daughter a few months back? You know, where he called his child a “thoughtless little pig?” Word has it that the family law judge that was overseeing his custody case was so ‘moved’ by the message that she barred Baldwin from having any contact with his child.

Nowadays, voice mail (VM) not unlike email, is just as discoverable in a court of law and needs to have the same importance as signing a legal document.   VMs can be saved, forwarded, distributed and transferred to computers to be burnt to a CD or mp3 file.  So your discretion in VM’s is very important. Never say anything in a VM that can  incriminate you. Nowadays all you need to do is an internet search to find funny and some, not so funny, VMs that were never intended to be on the internet. Never assume that the recipient of your message will be deleting it after listening to it.

Lately, I’ve grown fond of leaving VMs as they standout more than Emails. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I receive on average anywhere between 150 -200 Emails a day that pertain to my job. About only 20% of it is actionable, 50% is informational and 30% is junk/a waste of MS Exchange Server space as well as my time. So if I’m trying to reach someone that is just as busy as I am, and I really want his/her attention, a simple and effective VM is a much more direct way to get their attention.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate stupid people when people don’t know how to leave a message.  You know who you are!!!

• RAMBLERS: those who wait to get to the BEEP to then think out loud and never make any sense;
• PLAYGROUNDERS:”Tag! You’re It!”;
• ALZHEIMICS: Those who forget to leave their contact information; or forget why they called you.
• PHONAPHOPICS: Those who have no patience and hang up; then Email me, thinking it will be a faster way to get a hold of me;
• PASSIVE AGGRESSORS: “Hi John, it’s Tom. Call me!”
• ADRENALINE JUNKIES: People who talk way too fast and I cannot understand their message nor their contact information.
• MUMBLERS: The lazy few who do not know that there are over 30 muscles that contribute to speaking clearly and slowly.

For those people, I have no time for them.  I usually will never return their phone call and as a result I have pissed off some of them.  It’s nothing personal, but I don’t have the time to look up their phone number/contact information, decipher their message, prioritize the importance of the call or wait for their Email. And if you want to give me a first good impression, then screwing up a VM is not the way to go about it. And if you are a friend or think you are my friend  an acquaintance, and you don’t value or respect my time or my busy schedule, then don’t be surprised if I don’t return the call.

Now if I don’t know you, please leave more than your name and number. It’s okay to leave me a short explanation of who you are and why I should call you back. Otherwise, your reason for calling isn’t important enough for me to call you back.

Some of my rules, especially when I don’t know you:

• Why you are calling and, if relevant, how you got my contact information.
• Move the communication/”conversation” forward. Let me know what action you expect from me (especially if you are a salesperson). Are you going to call me back, or should I call you? Do you want me to reply to your e-mail?
• Leave your number at the beginning and end of the message. Don’t make me listen to the entire message to get the number to call you back (major pet peeve of mine!)
• Keep it short. I got a 3.5 minute voicemail recently from a recruiter who was, I think, describing a candidate. I really don’t know because I deleted his message mid-way as he was RAMBLING.
• Get your point across quickly and efficiently.

So if you know me and you want to leave me a good voice mail here are some tips and advice on leaving a good voice mail message.

Let me know what you think about voice mail.